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Joke of the Day

"I ate a chocolate bar in bed last night & my wife said, ""you have a problem"" so I replied, ""no, you have a problem; I have a chocolate bar."""

"What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk. - TommyEdisonXP (youtuber)"

"Why God impregnated Mary? Because instead of ""Oh Joseph! Cum in me!"", Mary said ""Oh God! Cum in me!"""

"Why did you name your dog karma? She's a bitch."

"Do you know the definition of a bonehead? Someone who's marrow minded."

"Q: How many Pentium designers does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 1.99904274017 but that's close enough for non-technical people."

"The wind is such a whore... ...it blows everyone."

"What does a stripper and a Subway sandwich maker have in common? They both prefer to be called ""artists"" instead of what they really are."

"According to my Nike Fitbit I masturbated 4 miles today"

"There are 10 types of people in the world Those who understand binary, those who don't, those who think this joke is in base 3, and those who know this joke is in base 4."