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Joke of the Day

"Why God impregnated Mary? Because instead of ""Oh Joseph! Cum in me!"", Mary said ""Oh God! Cum in me!"""

"The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar... It was tense."

"What did the web designer do when a hot girl walked up to him and squeezed his nuts? He AJAXulated."

"You're the reason why women earn 75 cents to the dollar."

"Jared of Subway fame's house was raided for investigation of child porn charges..... I found it surprising, as Jared seems to prefer footlongs."

"An American soldier talks with a Russian soldier A-We get the equivalent of 3000 calories per day. R-Impossible! No man can eat 60 pounds of potatoes in one day!"

"I rate the next One Direction album... ...four out of five stars."

"An art museum robber is caught when he tries to get away.... A reporter asks him what went wrong with the robbery. He answers "" I didn't have the Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh."

"A Roman Emperor orders his guards to arrest his wife. He orders them to Ceas'er."

"What do you call a Messiah that enjoys pain? A masochrist."