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Joke of the Day

"I just started Caitlyn Jenner's new diet plan. Its a lot like the Atkins diet except it is all transfats."

"I'm AMAZED by mythology. I'll tell you about my favorite tales... if you have a minotaur two. (amazed... get it?)"

"Apparently, when your boss asks you to get a cake for a coworker's 60th birthday, 'cake' is not code for 'stripper.' Live & learn, guys."

"There are only two things that can cut diamonds: other diamonds, and Chuck Norris."

"Somebody told me that today literally adds up But that's silly, 8+8 =/= 2016"

"*At the ouija board* Me: Err... mom? Can't we just... Ouija board: A-N-D A-N-O-T-H-E-R T-H-I-N-G"

"I named my dick money... 'Cause women love to blow it"

"Investment question If a leopard and a cheetah both had companies, which stock should you buy? A: The leopard's, because cheetahs never prosper."

"I lost my teeth eating candy at the wrong time of day Just as her husband got home"

"One Man's trash is other man's treasure Said Jereme. But it certainly wasn't the best he could say to his child just after he learnt that he was adopted."