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Joke of the Day

"I'm AMAZED by mythology. I'll tell you about my favorite tales... if you have a minotaur two. (amazed... get it?)"

"What did the wife say to the husband? Beats me \_()_/ "

"My wife left a note on the fridge that said ""This isn't working I'm going to my mom's"" I opened up the fridge. The light was on and the beer was cold. I'm not sure what she was talking about."

"What idiot named it prozac instead of sadvil"

"Changing the world. Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing herself."

"I feel like auto-correct should know by now that I'd never ask anyone to ""jazz"" all over my face."

"I have a foot fetish, but only for left feet. I know you are thinking ""That ain't right."""

"My wife said she wanted to have sex like in the movies.. ..so I fucked her in the arse and came on her face and in her hair. I guess we don't watch the same movies."

"I'd also tell you a joke about how my balls hang. . . But that's too low."

"ME: I've been shot MEDIC: put pressure on the wound ME: ok, wound, are you saving for your child's tuition because education is important"