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Joke of the Day
"I called the fortune-teller for an appointment. She said ""We will meet at 2pm"" ... I didn't go"
Next Joke
"What does Bob Marley put on his toast? Peanut butter and jammin!"
"""At some point"" is my favorite time to meet up with people."
"Men get frustrated because they don't understand how women think. Women get frustrated because they understand how men think."
"(reads smudged writing on hand during date) i just want to say that u look really preffy tonight"
"The worst thing about owls is the way they can maintain eye contact when you put them in a microwave."
"Kinda cool how Earth is the largest planet in the whole world."
"Seems my bladder still thinks its hilarious to wait until I'm comfortable in bed before voicing it's need to pee."
"Sex is like Indian food It can taste good, but also rupture your anus."
"If you're going to boast non stop about your pregnancy at least give birth to something fun like a puppy, a bouncy castle or a bag of weed."