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Joke of the Day

"Men get frustrated because they don't understand how women think. Women get frustrated because they understand how men think."

"Ask a girl if she wants to dance. If she says yes then start shooting at her feet. Congratulations you are now Yosemite Sam"

"My favorite joke: How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. They stick the bulb in the socket and wait for the world to revolve around them!"

"Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go, it's pretty damn good."

"Marriage is an institution. So is the mental hospital."

"Mom, can I have another piece of pecan pie? ""You mean MAY, not CAN"" Ok, mom can I have another piece of pemay pie?"

"Do you need a bag? I had just bought a box of condoms when the cashier asked, ""Do you need a bag?"" I replied, ""No, she's not that ugly."""

"Wife: He's your son! Me: So you say! But I don't... *Kid dances across the room to the Benny Hill theme song* Me: ...ok fine he's my son."

"Why do jews have such big noses. Because air is free."

"Who is the most popular wizard on the Internet? Har e-potter."