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Joke of the Day
"Kinda cool how Earth is the largest planet in the whole world."
Next Joke
"I slept like a rock last night meaning I woke up in the flower bed with the house key under my belly."
"If Twitter weren't for unconsidered blather, they wouldn't have named it after bird noises."
"I don't understand the point of lap-dancing clubs. If I wanted a woman to take all my money and sexually frustrate me, I'd stay at home with the wife."
"White Boards are... Remarkable."
"I leave spider carcasses on the wall to make sure the other spiders understand.."
"How do you make Obama's eyes light up? Shine a flashlight in his ear."
"Big vote today in England. If Leave wins I predict : Brexit to be followed by Grexit. Departugal. Italeave. Fruckoff. Czechout. Oustria. Finish. Slovakout. Latervia. Byegium"
"Toilet Stolen From Police Station... Cops Have Nothing To Go On"
"People out there are trying to contact the dead and you're telling me you can't text back?"