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Joke of the Day

"""Hi, I'm a male feminist and just shut up for a second while I explain to you why that's so important"""

"A hug is basically a mini hostage situation."

"What is the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my dick in your ass."

"If a tree fell on keemstar in the woods Would anyone care."

"I painted my computer black so it would run faster."

"What do you get when you cross a Mexican with an octopus? I dunno, but you should see that son of a bitch hang dry wall."

"A father takes his son fishing Son: Dad, can you teach me how to catch fish? Dad: Sure, son! first you throw the clickbait into the water Son: What next? Dad: What happens next will shock you!"

"A woman went to the doctor, who examined her. He said, You have a bad back. The woman said, I want a second opinion. The doctor said, All right! You're ugly as well."

"Why did the comedian go to the dog pound? To work on his put-downs."

"""When I'm done shitting on your car I'm going to watch your wife undress through her window""-Birds"