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Joke of the Day

"""When I'm done shitting on your car I'm going to watch your wife undress through her window""-Birds"

"What do you get when you cross reddit and a weekend? No new messages."

"Mary Had a Little Lamb, Little Lamb, Little Lamb. Maybe she wasn't that hungry."

"It's all shits and giggles... Until someone giggles and shits."

"A tall man and short man walk into a bar The tall man says ouch while the short man ducks under the bar."

"When I get calls from unknown numbers I panic, decline and then wait for the voicemail like I'm about to be murdered."

"Justin Bieber and Ke$ha has sex and gave birth to Rebecca Black."

"I made a list on how to do an impersonation of Victor Meldrew a) Don't b) Leave it"

"A British engineer just opened a buisness in Afganistan. He is selling landmines that look like prayer mats. When asked how buisness was going he said that prophets are going through the roof."

"Why is Trump never on top? Because he always fucks up."