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Joke of the Day
"""Please don't make a scene."" -Horrible movie director"
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"How do you say ""constipated"" in German? Farfrompoopin'"
"I'd estimate about 28% of the drugs you've taken were smuggled here in someone's asshole."
"I want to walk into a donut shop and yell... ""FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLE-Y!"""
"Apparently the safe word has changed to... NOT THERE IDIOT!!! Followed by a swift elbow to the eye...."
"A termite walks into a bar... And asks, ""Is the bartender here?""."
"I was walking past the supermarket when I saw a sign saying, ""All items: a third off."" I bought a dozen eggs but unfortunately 4 of them were bad."
"The waitress just asked, ""Still happy over here, guys?"" and I'm not sure how to respond."
"And then Satan said, ""Put the alphabet in math..."""
"At the mortuary.. -How do you want to handle your mother in law? Do you want her incinerated, embalmed or buried? -All of them, lets not take any chances"