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Joke of the Day

"Apparently the safe word has changed to... NOT THERE IDIOT!!! Followed by a swift elbow to the eye...."

"A retired sergeant was asked: ""Well how do you like civilian life?"" ""Terrible"" he said gruffly ""all those people around and nobody in charge!"""

"Atheism... is a non-prophet organization."

"If by ""physically fit"" you mean that I am going to physically fit this entire cupcake into my mouth then yes."

"A communist a spy and a chinese walk into a bar He orders a drink."

"Did you hear about the idiot who filled out an employment application? In the blank labeled ""Church Preference"" he filled in: Red brick."

"[loud speaker] ""Hi shoppers I see a lot of confused guys with mustaches. we've moved the Hawaiian shirt section next to the pleated jorts"""

"What do you call the surgery when a woman gets a sex change? Addadictomy"

"Why Did Hitler kill himself? He was told about his gas bill"

"What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can roast beef, but you can't pee soup."