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Joke of the Day

"The waitress just asked, ""Still happy over here, guys?"" and I'm not sure how to respond."

"when a cop pulls me over i tell him i'm a nihilist and i don't believe in tickets or laws or authority. i do however now believe in tazers."

"Remember your elementary gym ""coach""? I should've worked out more for his girlfriend"

"Reddit servers."

"I thought i ran away from the Tomatoes I really didn't think they would ketchup."

"Abraham Lincoln had a very hard childhood he had to walk 7 miles to school everyday. Well he should have got up earlier and caught the school bus like everyone else !"

"Teacher : Can't you retain anything in your head overnight ? Pupil : Of course I've had this cold in my head for two days !"

"I live off my music and the pain it inflicts on others."

"Hm, want to use firecrackers but not wake the neighbors. I know, I'll light the firecrackers inside a container! Like this megaphone here!"

"How did the bear kill the man? With his bear hands."