171406

Joke of the Day

"God said onto the sodomites ""go fuck yourselves"" And so they did"

"A procrastinator and a depressed man walk into a bar... Depressed man: I'm driving straight off a bridge tonight. Procrastinator: I've been telling myself that for weeks."

"My teacher pointed at me with...... My teacher pointed at me with his ruler and said ""at the end of this ruler is and idiot!"" I got detention after I asked him which end he was referring to."

"Change is always hard.... Especially when a jar of it falls on your head."

"What kind of cigars does Baby Jesus smoke? (Mmmph!) Meek & Milds!!!! :0"

"Last year I was quite miserable and depressed, so I made it my new year's resolution to turn that around. Thanks 2016, you helped me achieve my goal and made me depressed and miserable."

"What stopped winter from coming? Winterfell and it can't get up."

"What do you get if you put 5 lesbians and 5 politicians in the same room? 10 people who don't do dick."

"Pot bellied pigs are gateway pigs to cocaine bellied pigs."

"Imagine going to a theater in 1765 to see Mozart play symphony number 30 but as soon as he starts playing, the bass drops and people go nuts"