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Joke of the Day

"We had a safety meeting at work today. They asked me ""what steps would you take in event of a fire? ""Fucking big ones"" was apparently not the right answer."

"I once had the desire to do something worthwhile with my life. Then I discovered naps."

"If I was married to you, I would put poison in your tea If I was married to you, madame, I would drink it"

"What happens when you double park your frogs? They get toad!"

"Colo, the world's oldest gorilla died today... I guess her heart couldn't handle seeing a baboon about to be in office."

"What did the necrophiliac have at the funeral Mourning wood"

"What's the difference between a bull and an orchestra? The bull has the horns in front and the asshole in the back."

"Did you hear the one about the pizza? Ugh, nevermind. It's too cheesy."

"Poop in the sink Shit will solve itself."

"A female weight lifter went to the doctor ""Doc, I've been takin steroids for a few years now and as a side effect, I've grown a Penis"" ""Anabolic""? Asked the doctor. ""Nope just a Penis"" she replied."