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Joke of the Day
"Sorry I'm late... I was at the hospital *cough* my boyfriend has tuberculosis."
Next Joke
"Tech support guy asked me to rank my issue as normal, urgent, or extremely urgent. I did a 6min long scream into the phone & let him decide."
"Rest in peace boiled water You will be mist."
"[OC] Why does the NSA hate winter? Because they're not used to getting Snowden. (I'll see myself out)"
"What's the oldest trick in the book? Trick #1, duh. It's at the beginning of the contents."
"Why are pilots so honest? Keep those maintenance issues quiet. I want lies, frankly. ""We're delayed because we're winning a safety award."""
"This guy told me he got a puppy for his wife... ...wish I could make a trade like that!"
"Having the option to erase and re-record after having to leave a voicemail is one of my favorite things about life."
"Why did the baker have smelly hands? ...because he kneaded a poo."
"I told one of my coworkers who happens to be Mexican that he better hope Trump doesn't become president... Or else he'll be hiding out in his attic like Anne Frank."