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Joke of the Day

"""Makin all the ladies drop they panties"" I brag, pulling the fire alarm at Victoria's Secret."

"How do you castrate a priest? Kick the alter boy in the jaw"

"How do we know Paul Walker had dandruff? We found his Heads & Shoulders in the glove box."

"""Hey, wanna hangout?"" ""Later."" ""Now?"" ""No, later"" ""How about now?"" ""Jesus christ."" -if Adobe Updater was your friend"

"Why was the blonde fired from the M&M factory? She threw out all the W's."

"Would you like to hear a joke about ghosts? That's the spirit!"

"What do laws and virgins have in common? They're both there to be violated. (The sad part is that a Portuguese Taxi Driver actually said that seriously in a protest against Uber)"

"If there were such a thing as beavers that were small and live in people's circulatory systems, what would be their religion? Embolism."

"Why can't Jesus eat a cheeseburger? Because he's dead."

"When your friend offers you free food, all trust is gone out the window!!! The fuck did you do to it? Nothing, I swear! Okay I'll take a fucking bite."