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Joke of the Day

"[NSFW] What's long, cylindrical, hard, full of semen and can make a woman scream? The sock under your bed."

"I have enough money to last the rest of my life... So long as I don't spend any of it."

"My boss is sending me abroad for a business trip next week. I hope she's a blonde."

"What is 168? Dinner for 4."

"/r/jokes also went private, but not the whole thing Just jokes!"

"My first wife's breasts were different sizes... One spring I took her down to the beach for a wet T-shirt contest. We took 1st and 3rd place."

"What is ""attempted theft"" exactly? I mean it's not like you see school librarians seeing a student use Wikipedia on one of the computers and puts them in detention for ""attempted plagiarism"""

"So a racist pig, a sexist idiot, and a pot-smoking socialist run for president. I am so sorry America. There is no happy ending here."

"How does Ohm conduct an orchestra? Standing on his head!"

"I'm thinking of maybe giving up on my Olympic dream."