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Joke of the Day

"It's gotta be nice being a mortician... People are always dying to meet you."

"I wouldn't want lesbian parents. Not because I'm homophobic. I just don't want to get stuck in an endless loop of ""Go ask your mother."""

"I had an ex-girlfriend who was rather big, and she possessed an unusual talent; she was ambidextrose - she could polish off a box of chocolates with either hand."

"Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn't last long for fat people."

"How do people in Nor Cal get around? Hella copters"

"BLONDE BICYCLE Q: Why did the blonde run with the bike? A: It was going too fast for her to get on."

"Is anyone else disappointed about the new CEO of reddit? Such a re-post."

"The Minnesota Twins have just signed Adrian Peterson to a 3 year deal. More details to come. All we know is Adrian will be a switch hitter."

"What do a pizza delivery boy and a gynecologist have in common? Always have to smell it, never get to eat it."

"You ever wake up with a hangover feeling proud that you didn't send embarrassing drunk texts the night before? What's it like?"