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Joke of the Day

"We only speak to our two year old with a British accent. She's going to be the coolest kindergartner in Kansas."

"I dared my little brother to lick my dad's ass, and he did. So he dared me to lick my sister's pussy. Just FYI, the ass is called Toots and my sister's cat is Mr. Pickle. We're both 9 and 12"

"When Russians visit Mexico What do you call it when Russians get diarrhea from drinking water in Mexico? Trotsky's Revenge"

"What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts cost $2.00, but deer nuts are under a buck!"

"What did the decorators say when they went to church? ""Repaint! Repaint! And thin no more!"""

"What's a pirate's least favorite letter? A letter from an ISP saying they've been downloading illegally."

"What do you call a black guy flying a plane? a pilot, you racist."

"What is M. Night Shyamalan's favorite pastry? A cinema-n twist."

"This subreddit used to be funny until chickens started screwing light bulbs."

"Did you hear about the comedian who was arrested for domestic violence? He was a real niece slapper."