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Joke of the Day

"Damn girl are you a cornfield? Because I'm stalking you."

"Why should the Roman Catholic Church allow priests to marry? They would have a more detailed understanding of what Hell is actually like."

"I've adjusted my insults to be more pc Instead of calling people gay, I call them straight."

"What do you call a can opener that doesn't work? A can't opener."

"America: We put the 'try' in country."

"What's the longest you've ever stared at your phone without glancing up to look at the road while driving? For me it's three weeks."

"What's red and white and red, red and white and red and white? Santa Claus rolling down a roof!"

"Guy getting on elevator in my office building.."" Going Down?"" Me: ""No, but I've got time for a hug"""

"How do you make a hormone? Just don't pay her"

"Think bobcats prefer to be called robertcats?"