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Joke of the Day

"America: We put the 'try' in country."

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"What did the druggie scientist say when he got high on Helium? He He"
"Just got a Life Alert bracelet. Now, if I get a life, I'll immediately be alerted..."
"Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.. It's called a Wedding Cake."
"How do you kill a hipster? You drown him in the *Mainstream*"
"What do you say to an art student with a job? ""Uhh, I would like the Quarter Pounder with Cheese"""
"What's the difference between Donald Trump and a piece of fruit? Oranges have thick skin"
"Church is one of the few places you get on your knees BEFORE a guy gives you wine."
"What did the Eskimo schoolboy say to the Eskimo schoolgirl? What's an ice girl like you doing in a place like this?"
"[being mugged] ME: can i keep things of sentimental value? ROBBER: ok ME:[pulling things from wallet] my favorite cash...my lucky debit card"