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Joke of the Day

"Boss: ""Sarcasm will get you nowhere in life""!! Me: ""Well It got me to the 'International Sarcasm' finals in Santiago 2011 Boss: ""Really""? Me: ""No"""

"What greek letter is always sad? Psi..."

"Love's a lot like a bullet in that the exit usually causes the most damage."

"To Brie or not to Brie. That is the queso."

"The Horses decided to form a Senate to govern themselves... But they could never get anything done. ""All in favor, say Yay. All opposed, say neigh."""

"A guy came to me at the bar the other day and said ""Hey bartender, I don't have much money so give me a cheap shot!"" . . I told him ""your mom is ugly and your breathe stinks"""

"I stole a friend's phone today and set it so it will autocorrect ""I've"" to ""me've"" and me'm really excited about it."

"How many women does it take. . . to screw in a lightbulb in a convent? Nun."

"All women say they just want to meet someone with a sense of humor - From what I can tell, Rich guys are fucking hilarious-"

"What's the difference between batman and a black man? Batman can go out in the night without robin.^Sorry!"