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Joke of the Day

"Are you in the top half of your class ? No I'm one of the students who make the top half possible !"

"I'm still not a member of Jem and the Holograms and that is truly truly truly outrageous."

"What's green and turns red at the push of a button? A frog in a blender."

"So I went to a culture booth recently... And I tried some ramen. Wasn't a great idea I soon found out, as I had eaten a cheeseburger not long before. Everything just surrendered..."

"When I was a kid, my family was very poor... I remember my dad was cutting Onion and our whole family was crying. Poor Onion. He was such a good dog..."

"Tinder is such an useless app The only match it gave me was of my wife.."

"Machine uprising? Ha! What can they do? Toaster gonna burn my bagel? Vending machine gonna steal my money? Like they do now... Holy shit."

"My favorite exercise at the gym is lateral neck turns, which is where I walk in, shake my head ""no,"" and leave immediately."

"I used to give anal to other men... But it's all behind me now."

"My wife ran away with my best friend. I haven't met him yet."