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Joke of the Day

"""You'll have more fun in high school, Zach.""nn""You'll have more fun in college, Zach.""nn""You'll have more fun in Hell, Zach."""

"I will never vaccinate my child. I'd rather a doctor or nurse do it."

"I'm so sick of this debate. Of COURSE, the chicken came first! Are you saying I don't know how to properly fuck a chicken?"

"Where does Iron Man live? Iron know."

"Having friends is like... Having friends is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it but only you can feel it's warmth!"

"Hey dude that invented the unicycle... Where were you wanting to go ? then not go, then go, then not go, then get bored and juggle"

"I misused a comma in my last tweet and now I'm having problems with my colon. I know it has nothing to do with my period."

"A man once got his penis cut off he used to be a dick... now he is just nuts."

"It's a little known fact that Elton John doesn't like iceberg lettuce, he's a rocket man."

"A wife gets naked ...and asks her husband, 'What turns you on more! my pretty face or my sexy body?' Husband looks her up and down for a moment and replies, 'Your sense of humor.'"