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Joke of the Day
"Mom... Are you a virgin?"
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"The Purge: American Cops For just 365 nights a year, murder is legal!"
"Two books arm wrestle. One ruptures is appendix, the other helps him rebind it."
"That fart voided the warranty on our couch."
"Female perfect set of legs!!! Feet on one end...pussy on the other!"
"Sorry, Australia... Overheard my sister talking to my friend when this was said. Sis: ""Do they have bush babies in Australia""? Friend: ""No, but they have plenty of dead babies in the bush""."
"Two nuns in a bath... The first nun asks the other ""Where's the soap?"" The other replies ""It does, doesn't it?"" Edit: Punctuation"
"Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Because they were veloco*raptured*."
"I bought a vacant piece of land recently, and every night someone keeps depositing soil on the land. I still can't figure out who it is. The plot thickens."
"What cake wanted to rule the world? Attila the Bun."