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Joke of the Day

"Two nuns in a bath... The first nun asks the other ""Where's the soap?"" The other replies ""It does, doesn't it?"" Edit: Punctuation"

"I'm ABSOLUTELY positive I'd accidentally kill myself within 3 minutes of owning a light saber."

"""Bartender, I'd like to buy that table of women debating their favorite season of The Bachelor a round of cats"""

"A narcissist walks into a bar... The rest of the joke doesn't matter."

"Someone just suggested that I use Mapquest. I suggested that he use a rotary phone."

"Buy followers? No thanks. I'm married so I spend enough money on people I don't talk to"

"Strangers are friends you haven't met yet. Friends are lovers you haven't kissed yet. Lovers are corpses you haven't killed yet."

"What did the chef say to his assistant when he got handed the wrong ingredients? This is neither the thyme nor the plaice."

"Because it ruins the joke. Why should you never put the punchline in the title?"

"You know what would really suck? Finding a needle in a haystack."