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Joke of the Day

"You know how light travels faster than sound? That's why some people seem bright until they start speaking."

"Why do vultures find it easy to fly? They only ever have carrion baggage."

"Step 1 Change your wifi password to blowmefirst. Step 2 Wait for someone to ask for your wifi password."

"How much...? How much dick could a dik-dik lick if a dik-dik could lick dick?"

"Lorax: I am the Lorax, I speak for the trees! They have a crush on you Brad! Trees: What? We did not say that! Tell Brad we didn't say that!"

"LPT Don't order the wrong thing for your wife at subway Oops wrong sub"

"I'm still in a state of total shock I mean the Cubs won the World Series"

"How much does a Polar Bear weigh? Enough to lower your standards, I'm moonsout_goonsout"

"I was reading earlier about a dwarf who got pick pocketed. How could anyone stoop so low?"

"If I drew a cartoon depicting Mohamed and Harambe dating It would be Haram-Bae"