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Joke of the Day

"Lorax: I am the Lorax, I speak for the trees! They have a crush on you Brad! Trees: What? We did not say that! Tell Brad we didn't say that!"

"I am one bottle of shower gel away from being able to open my own Christmas gift shop in my shower."

"Why should you never play cards in the jungle? Because of all the cheetahs"

"What is the stinkiest businessman? Entra-Manure"

"Rene Descartes walks into a bar. The Bartender says, ""Hey, Rene, you want a scotch?"" Descartes replies, ""No, I think not."" And then he vanishes. No dice."

"What do you call a waffle that's been buried in sand? Sandiego (The first joke I ever made as a kid)"

"If you are what you eat... *Well then you are an asshole* *A lot of you are pussies* *And some of you are cats* *A few of you are dogs* *And I'm a penny...*"

"What do you call a snail in the Navy? A Snailor"

"""Look who comes crawling back to apologize."" ""I am so sorry, can I please have my wheelchair back now?"""

"What do you call a potato that looks like a penis? A dictator."