170205

Joke of the Day

"I'm trying, but all the Liam Neeson jokes are taken."

"What did one ghost say to another? I'm sorry but I just don't believe in people."

"Hey girl, are you a fire alarm? 'Cause you get triggered from the smallest of things"

"Two sperms are talking with each other... ""Hey man, how long till we get the ovaries?"" ""Long way still, we just passed the throat."""

"Why did it take so long to see a picture of Saint West? Because he was a Tidal exclusive."

"A man was complaining to a friend. ""I had it all. Money a beautiful house a BIG car the love of a beautiful woman then POW! it was all gone!"" ""What happened?"" asked the friend. ""My wife found out."""

"This isn't an office. It's hell with fluorescent lighting."

"Why do Scots fuck sheep at the edge of a cliff? Because they push back harder."

"I went for a run in morning but came home after 2 minutes coz I forgot something I forgot that I'm so fat that I can only run for 2 minutes"

"What happens when a pizzaman does an AMA on Reddit? OP delivers."