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Joke of the Day

"Two sperms are talking with each other... ""Hey man, how long till we get the ovaries?"" ""Long way still, we just passed the throat."""

"Why did they arrest Jared Fogle at 3:15? That's when the big hand touches the little hand."

"I heard that they have dogs now that can smell if you've got cancer....... but I just thought that must be the most depressing dog ever to take on a walk. ""Your dog really likes me!!!"" ""I'm so sorry."""

"Why are white girls so odd? Because they can't even."

"Did you hear about the burger cook who took a dump on the grill? He totally flipped his shit."

"""Monday's suck"" - Everyone. Apart from Ethiopian kids. For whom, every day sucks"

"How did the dictator make it easier for power companies to do business with neighboring countries? He stepped down."

"Say what you like about us Arabs, but at least we don't go to Africa and start naming lions 'Ahmad' and 'Hassan'."

"Go away, mosquito. I've already had the blood drained out of me by my job."

"The Dalai Lama and Gandhi aren't the same? I thought they were basically Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana. I feel like people are messing with me."