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Joke of the Day

"""Dad, what's the difference between love and lust?"" - Well, ya know your teddy bear? ""I love it"" - While you're at school, the dog lusts it."

"I visited the new aviary everyone's talking about but I think it's for the birds."

"Fred: I'd love to be an actress. Harry: Break a leg then! Amy: Whatever for? Fred: Then you'd be in a cast for weeks."

"Ellen Pao couldn't become a Miss America, so instead she became a Miss Ogynist."

"A windmill asked me for an autograph... I said ""You must be a big fan"""

"My superpower is turning food and drink into larger pants."

"Almost every branch of science has a pseudoscience associated with it: chemistry and alchemy, astronomy and astrology, math and economics..."

"What do you call a hooker that was shot by a sniper? 360 hoscope"

"Trump wins the election"

"I ran into a man today who knew absolutely nothing about anatomy. I had to explain to him that there was a vas deferens between a testicle and penis. Edit: fixed ""there"""