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Joke of the Day

"Why do you hold your hand flat above your eyes when you look into the distance? Because when you would cover your eyes with your hand, you wouldn't see sh*t. I'm lame."

"In a new poll, 80% of Japanese women admit to having faked origami"

"What's Big, White and If It falls out of a tree it will kill you? A Fridge"

"My girlfriend is like a Chipmunk... She's tiny, fluffy, and has a horrible voice."

"When my wife starts to sing.... When my wife starts to sing I always go out and do some garden work so our neighbors can see there's no domestic violence going on."

"A guy named Lur tells his friend about a business idea... ""I have a brilliant idea! I am going to make and sell my own line of cars!"" To which his friend replied ""Christ, Lur!"""

"What do you call a pile of cats? a Meowtain"

"Yes he's financially stable & hasn't been to jail for domestic violence like the other guy but I can change the other guy wait & see - Women"

"My scale is broken. It only seems to go up."

"A guy picks up a prostitute After they're done she says: I feel so loved. You fuck like a god! As they start smoking a cigarette in bed she asks: By the way, why do you have holes in your hands."