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Joke of the Day

"That awesome moment when your best friend likes your Facebook status because they know the story behind it."

"Why do smart people wear glasses? Because as resolution goes down performance goes up. This is a little bad but...."

"What does a stripper do to her asshole before she goes to work? Puts the help wanted ads by the 12pack in the fridge and begs him for the millionth time to look for a job today."

"A college friend was going to meet a young lady he new. ""An old flame? I asked. He winked and said ""More like an unlit match."""

"Time for a joke. ""Dad, how do you feel about abortions?"" ""Well, why don't you ask your sister?"" ""But I don't have a..."""

"What bus crossed the Atlantic Ocean? Columbus"

"I'd make an Apple joke... But they'd probably remove it."

"Why doesn't Santa have any kids? Because he only comes ones a year & when he does its in a chimney!"

"Two nudists philosophers were sitting around when one of them asked the other, ""Have you read Marx?"" The other one replied ""Yes, I think it's the wicker furniture""."

"It's already the second week of January and I'm still writing 1983 on my checks."