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Joke of the Day

"I want cake, to get cake I must get dressed, to get dressed I have to get out of bed, to get out of bed I need cake."

"What do u get when u give a rodent date rape drugs? Mickey Mouse"

"Waking up an hour early gives you an extra hour to wish you were still in bed."

"Bank ads make me want to hide my money under my mattress. They also make me want to acquire some money for hiding, but that's a side issue."

"My contact lenses just fell out and fell down the toilet.. Now I can't see sh!t."

"Women love a man in uniform, but especially a uniform made from chocolate bars and $100 bills."

"Why don't vampires go south of the border? Because every time they suck a Mexican's blood, they get the vshits for a month."

"I bet when Hugh Hefner dies no one will say ""He's in a better place now."""

"The NFL's Refs"

"I've added Paul Walker on Xbox Live But he's always stuck on the dashboard."