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Joke of the Day

"I want cake, to get cake I must get dressed, to get dressed I have to get out of bed, to get out of bed I need cake."

"What do you call a ghost detective? An Inspectre"

"What is a shoe made out of a Banana called? a slipper! I've been telling this corny ass joke around campus and everyone seems to like it haha."

"Me: My dog ran away two days ago Dog pound: Does he have a tag? Me [covers phone to ask wife]: Is the dog on Instagram?"

"[before sex] HER: did you bring protection? ME: heck ya I did *slowly reaches into back pocket and pulls out nunchucks*"

"I went for a swim with my daughter... I felt a warm pocket of water in the waves and yelled at her ""Did you just pee in the ocean!?"". ""No"" she said ""the seaweed"" True story."

"What do you call a blonde standing on her head? A brunette with bad breath"

"A Higgs Boson walks into a church The priest says ""we don't allow Higgs Bosons in here"". The Higgs Boson then replies ""but without me, how could you have mass?"""

"You guys hear about the guy who was addicted to rohypnol (Roofies)? He'd been on 'em longer than he could remember..."

"Have you heard of the musical condoms? They started a rubber band."