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Joke of the Day

"I failed my Driver's test. Driving teacher: ""What do you do at a red light?"" Me: ""I usually respond to texts and check my Twitter."""

"I'm starting a new Egyptian fraternity, would you like to join? It's called Delta Delta Delta."

"Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella? Fo' drizzle."

"GOOD COP: Three robberies in the same neighborhood ...do you know what I'm thinking? PSYCHIC COP: Yes GOOD COP: Oh right"

"Husband asked his wife ""why don't you tell me when you orgasm?"" She replied ""because I don't like calling you at work."""

"It looks like I'm missing a lot of tweets. They were probably so great the Library of Congress just couldn't wait to archive them."

"A prisoner got out of his cell. Warden : Close all the exits. after 10 minutes the prisoner escaped Warden : How the hell did he escaped? Guard : He went through the entrance."

"How do you tell which nurse is the head nurse? shes the one with dirty knees"

"Q: How did the blonde kill her toy poodle? A: Trying to put batteries in it."

"What do Karl Marx and the founder of Linux have in common? Both of them hate classes."