170049

Joke of the Day

"I wish I could literally LMAO..That sounds like a lot more fun than 90 minutes at the gym."

"Why did Hitler delay the invasion of Britain? The weather called for *Heil*"

"What do you call a group of Idiots? Congress"

"People who write ""loosing"" when they mean ""losing"" need to get loost."

"If I'm your emergency contact, for your sake, I hope that hospital sends texts too."

"What's the difference between a divorce and a circumcision? With a divorce you get rid of the whole dick."

"Free shipping? I walked into an airport with two bags: ""I want this one to go to Chicago, and this one to go to Paris."" ""Sir, you can't do that."" ""Why not? It happened the last time."""

"What do you call the rapid growth of Indian cities? Turbanisation"

"What's the difference between a woman and a gun You can put a silencer on a gun"

"make it happen."""