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Joke of the Day

"Free shipping? I walked into an airport with two bags: ""I want this one to go to Chicago, and this one to go to Paris."" ""Sir, you can't do that."" ""Why not? It happened the last time."""

"Why are manhole covers round? Because manholes are round"

"[end of a job interview] Interviewer: Any questions? Me: If you could become half robot, would you do it? Him: Me: Him: Which half?"

"I hurt my back... ...and the head of HR asked me if I was limping. Apparently it is NOT OK to say ""Naw, just working on my pimp walk"". :)"

"FRIEND: haha she's so cutesay it for him honey HER TODDLER: the moon is cheeeeese ME: well what have we here, a tiny liar"

"Donald trump wins miley cyrus said she would leave the country. I'll vote for him if u throw in Justin bieber too. Good way to secure the presidency"

"How do you get your partner to give you head? Put them in a guillotine."

"My problem is, I'm about 30% stud, and 70% muffin."

"Why did Paul Walker cross the road? Because he wasn't wearing a seatbelt"

"It's time to go to bed when you type the name of the website you are already looking at into your browser."