199423

Joke of the Day

"make it happen."""

"Currently I'm dating a anorexic chick. but lately I've been seeing less and less of her."

"Did you hear about the hillbilly who was called to testify in court? When he spoke you could only see the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth."

"Do you know who cries the most during the end of Titanic? Metal fans."

"Whenever i get job applications, the first thing i do is throw half of them in the trash. I don't want to hire any unlucky people"

"A bug is just a bug until you put one on someone's face."

"What's the difference between a Terrorist training camp and a Pakistani kindergarten? Shit I dunno, I just fly the drone."

"Whenever I see a celebrity photobomb, I'm like, that's so relatable. I too constantly ruin moments and think I'm more fun than I actually am"

"What's the difference between a Jew and a canoe? A Canoe tips."

"I like my women like I like my beer: I'm so fucking lonely."