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Joke of the Day

"[In bed with gf] ""Do you have any fantasies?"" Yeah, one. You know your friend Sarah, the hot one? ""Yes.. why?"" I want to hit her with my car"

"What did the man say when he couldn't get the gun to fire? ""Looks like I'm gonna have to read the trouble shooting section of the manual."""

"An engineer major asks... ""How can we build this?"" A business major asks, ""How can we finance this?"" A liberal arts major asks, ""Do you want fries with that?"""

"how do you drown a blonde? put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool"

"I was reading a book about adhesive the other day. I just couldn't put it down."

"Today I nearly met my end!...it was in a yoga class."

"Why don't you ever see elephants hiding in trees? Because they're really good at it."

"[Calling concert venues across the country] Hi yes, I'm just calling to let you know that on your website you spelled ""weekend"" incorrectly"

"Michael Jackson is the epitome of the American Dream Only in America could a poor, black boy become a rich, white woman"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the black guy cross the road? To kill the chicken and eat it!"