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Joke of the Day

"What did the elephant say that was pulled out of a mud pit by the balls? Thank you Mrs. Ball, thank you Mr. Ball. It should be assumed I saw myself out."

"When that guy on the train woke up and stretched, I don't think he liked it when I scratched his head and said ""Who's a big kitty?!"""

"What animal has 5 legs? A pit bull coming back from the playground."

"Why couldn't OP make it as a standup comedian? Poor delivery."

"Why are Jews so bad at maths? Cause they can never find the final solution"

"Doc said I need to change my diet... He said I need to eat more caviar and drink more champagne. I said, ""Doc, that's crazy! What's this diet called?"" He said, ""it's a High Fluten diet."""

"My sister got upset that I washed our puppy with my own, human shampoo. I reassured her it had already been tested on dogs."

"Q: What do you get when you mix a rooster with a telephone pole? A: A 30ft cock that wants to reach out and touch someone"

"What do you get when you cross worms with elephants? Big holes in your garden"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? (NSFW) To suck the cock"