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Joke of the Day

"Why couldn't OP make it as a standup comedian? Poor delivery."

"*rubs magic lamp, genie appears* ""You get 2 wishes."" I wish I got 3 wishes. ""Your wish is granted."" Nice, nice. ""You have 2 left."""

"What do you get when you put the entire South Carolina cheerleading team in one room? A full set of teeth."

"Just explained the Higgs Boson to my friend even tho I don't understand it. He was very convinced. I bet this is how religions get started."

"A friend in need is a friend indeed, but a friend' that is ALWAYS in need is getting on my nerves."

"What is the difference between a 2 year old and a bag of cocaine? Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out a window."

"Why is Santa so Jolly? Because he knows where all the Naughty Girls live."

"Who are you going to trust, some real doctor who says it's impossible to make you a centaur, or me, the guy with a hacksaw and half a horse?"

"Seeing another person with synesthesia... is like music to my eyes."

"And on the 8th day, He said ""Oh I'll make carbs delicious AND fattening LOL!"""