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Joke of the Day

"I look forward to hearing Michelle Obama's speech again. At the 2020 RNC."

"Me: We need some ham. Her: I just bought a pound of ham yesterday. Me: Are you going to judge me, or are you going to buy some ham?"

"What is Anon's favorite coding language? Fortran"

"If I ever got into the plastic surgery business I would call my company ""Breast Buy""."

"What do you call a rock band with a perfectionist in it? OCDC"

"Why doesnt Kermit like elephants? They always want to play leap-frog with him."

"After hearing that Diarrhea causes the most deaths... I realized I'm next. Diarrhea's hereditary, and it runs in my genes."

"How do you know you're speaking with an engineer? Don't worry they'll tell you."

"I'm not afraid to die, I'm afraid my friends will give me the funeral I told them I wanted when I was drunk."

"What caused ""The Black Death""? The police."