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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? A: I can't peanut butter my dick up your ass. (I'm sorry, this joke was mentioned on How I Met Your Mother and I can't stop laughing since)"

"What's the best thing about an extremely drunk, angry girlfriend? They don't remember when you smack the ever living shit out of them."

"Name the only building in the world with 80,000 stories The library (My 6yo told me to tweet this)"

"my girlfriends dad asked me what I do but apparently your daughter wasn't the answer"

"They say tragedy plus time equals comedy... but I just don't think my wife Debra farting herself to death in 2011 will ever be funny to me"

"How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb? None. The Russians did it apparently."

"I said a funny joke and my friend told me to post it here. /r/The_Donald"

"Why did Hitler really kill himself because he couldn't pay his gas bill"

"Why was Thor unable to get any sleep? He Was Up All Night to Get Loki"

"It's all shits n' giggles... Until someone giggles and shits."