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Joke of the Day

"My wife asked me why I carry a gun around the house. ""To fight the Decepticons,"" I said. She laughed. I laughed. The toaster laughed. I shot the toaster."

"Po.st Blog JOBS"

"What's Scotland's BIGGEST cause of depression? Lonely ness."

"Why did the gum cross the road? Because it was under the elephants foot."

"What did the cake say to the Pie? ""That's sweet, ain't it?"""

"The best things in life are free. Who let them out?! I PAID GOOD MONEY TO IMPRISON THEM"

"Why didn't the people in the movie Armageddon just hold up a big sheet of paper when the meteor was coming? Paper beats rock..."

"I noticed my waitress had a black eye so I ordered very clearly. Because obviously she doesn't get things right the first time."

"Why is the Statue of Liberty hollow? Because she's really French, and the French have no GUTS!"

"Detective: Do you think I should put on the cuffs? Criminal: Why? You look good in short sleeves."