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Joke of the Day

"Jared of Subway fame's house was raided for investigation of child porn charges..... I found it surprising, as Jared seems to prefer footlongs."

"What do you call a vegetable/fruit that dies for it's religion? A Tomartyr"

"Why do melons always have big weddings? Because they can't elope."

"I'll say ""HELLO PUPPY!"" to your dog, but you'll get the awkward half-smile."

"""How often do you exercise?"" About 3 to 4 times a week. ""Be honest."" 2003."

"What did the one llama say to the other before they went on vacation? ALPACA BAG"

"My friend William joined the army He is uncomfortable with the phrase ""Fire at Will"""

"The name's Bondjamesbond. James Bondjamesbond."

"I refuse to do laundry because it's racist, because you need to separate white from the colored."

"Not to brag, but I can cure a man of having a thing for me in five minutes flat."