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Joke of the Day

"The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar... It was tense."

"Why can't gay people play poker? Because they can't keep a straight face."

"I have to admit my heart broke a little when I heard the lady at Starbucks call the guy in line behind me ""sweetie"" too."

"My wife just opened a jar of pickles by herself and I can't help but believe my days around here are numbered..."

"A young boy's life changed when he found out he could shoot a white sticky substance Only this young boy could also do it from his wrist. Hello spiderman."

"Why did the bacteria cross the microscope? To get to the other slide! Courtesy of one of my Biology students"

"My bowel is upset. Must be full of shit."

"why do elephants paint their toe nails red? to hide in cherry trees. have you ever seen an elephant hiding in a cherry tree? works doesn't it"

"TIL Harriet Tubman wasn't a real person. It was just what the slaves shouted to each other on the Underground Railroad, ""Hurry it up, man!"" Credit: my wife"

"Which came first, the chicken or the egg? The rooster."