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Joke of the Day

"Had trouble sleeping today. They added a trumpeter to this morning's church service."

"Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it's wide use three, make sure it's wet and rub up and down. Yep, that's how you wash a cup."

"there's nothing quite as American as eating when you're not even hungry"

"Wife: ""How did your first day as a lifeguard go?"" Me: ""Amazingly well, thanks. Everyone was so friendly and waving at me."""

"Holocaust jokes aren't funny. My great grandfather died in Auschwitz. He fell off of a watch tower."

"My dick is like an American Too fat, but dangerous."

"Q: How do librarians file melted marshmallows? A: According to the Gooey Decimal System."

"What's a zombies favourite brand of crisps? Walkers"

"Why did the man invest in the kilovolt battery? He thought it had a lot of potential."

"Why is Barbie's boyfriend afraid of commitment? He's a chic Ken."