133063

Joke of the Day

"Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it's wide use three, make sure it's wet and rub up and down. Yep, that's how you wash a cup."

"What's the difference between PHP and PCP? One makes you: * feel numb * see things that aren't there * panicked and paranoid * feel loss of control over your actions. The other is a synthetic drug."

"What do you call a baby panther? a Newton."

"Why was Jesus such a bad carpenter? He couldn't remove three nails to save his life"

"asked my little bro for a couple of chips... he brought me three, said 2 were a couple and the third was my side chip"

"Kid: Mommy, can we get a pineapple? Mom: No, sweetie. I don't know how to cut them. Kid: I know Mommy! You use a knife."

"What's the difference between purple and pink? Your grip!"

"I'm leaving reddit"

"Going to meet my daughter's kindergarten teacher tonight. Her name is Miss Cox. Not sure I'm mature enough for this situation."

"White folk hate math. Especially when they heard in Calculus they'd have to integrate."