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Joke of the Day

"Wife: ""How did your first day as a lifeguard go?"" Me: ""Amazingly well, thanks. Everyone was so friendly and waving at me."""

"A Male teacher is asked why he enjoys working with kids He said ""i see myself in them"" Edit: He is a pedophile but no one knows it"

"You can tell a lot about a new neighbor by how they react when they find you hiding under their bed."

"Him: Yah, I like my meat rare Me: Rare? Like, unicorn you mean? Him: ...... Me: Our mom's are friends, you have to finish the date"

"What do old people smell like. Depends."

"I love when people say to me... Omg! Your so funny on FB. If they only knew about my awesome copy & paste ability..They could be just as funny!"

"Famous Russian snooker player Inov the red"

"Riddle me this, Batman. What do you find in an alley that has holes in it? ""M-my parents?"" ""No! A bowling ball! I'm so sorry..."""

"I don't trust people with graph paper... They're always plotting something."

"This is my stepladder... I never knew my real ladder."