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Joke of the Day
"How can you tell if someone is a marathon runner? Don't worry, they'll let you know."
Next Joke
"I wanted to go to Neptune But Uranus is in the way."
"A man is hospitalized after a serious accident Following his surgery, he says, ""Doctor! I can't feel my legs!"" The doctor says, ""I know. I amputated your arms."""
"when you write a word and it looks wrong but it's right and you just sit there and contemplate life"
"Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, ""You're next."" They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals."
"pizza has 5 letters if u double that u get 10 if u divide that by 2 u get 5 & if u do some more math u get 666 coincidence i think not"
"Me: I had to take your hamster back to the shop Son: Why [nervous because I accidentally ran him over with a lawnmower] Me: He's a racist"
"An Irish guy walks out of a bar.... It could happen."
"what do you call chess players bragging in a hotel lobby? chess nuts boasting in an open foyer"
"How much is the price of sex in New Zealand? About $20 a kilo."